carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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