We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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