We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
