This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
