Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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