So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
