i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
