3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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