I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
