he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
