your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
