fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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