So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
