Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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