did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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