i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You made out with two different species that night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
