What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
