so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
