Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
