Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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