I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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