Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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