At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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