I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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