sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
