Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
