I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
