and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
