Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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