I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
