office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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