She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
