Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
