i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
