Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
