how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
