Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
