I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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