I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
