my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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