im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
