To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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