Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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