you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
