trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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