question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
