Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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