he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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