think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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