So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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