Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
